Don’t wait up for her tonight…

‘Cause she won’t be coming home

Why do I find myself waiting… in the middle of the night for something I know is never going to happen?

Don’t wake up till it gets light
By then she’ll be long gone

All I have left are dreams… gone by the morning.

Her restless heart has set its sail
She can feel the waves washing over
She knows what life with you entails
You love her strength you despise your weakness

Somewhere, down deep, maybe I always knew she could never really be happy with what she had. Somehow I convinced myself that my confidence in us was good enough… and it obviously wasn’t… I should have seen it earlier.

Don’t wait up, for her tonight
‘Cause she won’t be calling home
Don’t wake up till it gets light
And the dogs are scratching at the door

The calls stopped coming, the goodbyes, the hi how are yous… and still I labored furiously under my delusion of happiness… under the idea of present hardship endured for future gain.

Your jealous heart has won the day
You can feel the darkness creeping over

Sometimes I wish it had been me… It would be clear, I would understand and I would have the power… but would I have been able to live with myself if I had chosen the same path… doubtful at best.

She paid the man and sailed away
Leaving you your incompleteness

She gave away all that was best of her and ceased to be the person I once knew… the person I still love and miss so greatly… and she has truly left me a broken piece of what was a larger whole.

My thoughts go out to so many people who have helped me more than they could ever know, and though at times I falter, and feel like I will ultimately let them down, I do my best… One more day, and a new tide upon which salvation may lie.

Thanks to (in no special order) Chris, Amy, Tyler, Sam, Dez, Pat and friends, family and acquaintances who put up with who I am now, and try their damnedest to make me laugh and smile again… I couldn’t have made it this far without you all.

Thanks to the lyrical stylings of Colin Hay for this post.

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Listening to: Over The Rhine – If Nothing Else (Acoustic)
via FoxyTunes